My husband and I are facing some major life-changing decisions. And I am having a very difficult time making the decisions that need to be made. In fact, I am suffering from significant anxiety-induced stomach trouble – and by stomach, I mean more than just my stomach (catch my drift?). It’s even worse knowing that we have a couple weeks before we must to finalize the changes.
Here’s the really strange part: when praying about it, I get the very distint impression that God is ok with whatever we decide to do. He’s not giving any specific direction – nothing that sounds like “do this” or “don’t do that.” I simply know that whatever we decide, we will be blessed – either way we go, He approves. One would think that this would be freeing, but it leaves me – not confused, more like torn.
I was once advised that when making a major decision between two excellent options – select the best. But, in this situation – there is no clear best. It’s a little frustrating, so my anxiety builds. This I know God would not approve of – the worry, doubt, and apprehension.
So tonight, when I got home, I was AGAIN mentally deliberating what to do, and I found myself wondering if there is a third possible option instead of just two. Maybe, we’ve overlooked something. Perhaps there is a different, and ultimately better, plan than anything we’ve considered thus far. And how far out of our comfort zone might that take us? So far, the options are based upon known, relatively safe factors, but what if? What if I’m not hearing clear direction because I’m only focused on the lesser choices instead of the dangerous, thrilling, best option. What if I’m missing something?
Well, you know I’ll be praying about this and exploring the possiblities – especially since we have to make our will known in about two weeks. In the meantime, this is giving me comfort:
“Use a little wine because of your stomach and your frequent illnesses.” I Timothy 5:23