It’s written on my forehead. Go ahead and laugh; I know you’ve always known and just didn’t want to hurt my feelings.
The spiders know. Who else would offer a peace treaty to arachnid-kind. They know I don’t want to hurt them – hate it when I have to wash them down the sink for infiltrating my bath.
My nieces and nephews know. Aunt Jennifer will always have chocolate. Or gummy bears. Or bubble gum. Probably all three. The munchkins can read the writing on my face. Hugs and kisses and cute antics are irresistible and will be rewarded. I can be bought.
And of course, the squirrels have figured it out, too. When Jimmy Squirrel dares Bobby Squirrel to risk certain death by running across the street. Bobby Squirrel is wise enough to wait until he sees me coming. He knows I can guarantee his squirrel-coolness. I’ll stop. I always do.