You Know It’s Halloween When…

You meet a grown man wearing an ostrich costume.

You find yourself driving behind an SUV bearing the plate: I POLKA.

You overhear an irate customer bellow, “I am so mad I could eat nails and fart bullets.”

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Handsome Super Hero

Our cat, Trixie, has issues.  The largest and most revolting of these is her propensity to empty the semi-digested contents of her stomach onto our white carpet.  (Note to readers, white carpet plus white furniture plus black cat with indigestion equals hours of fun.)

Well, Miss Trixie’s stomach ills have not abated with my recent increase in travel.  And since her maid (that would be me) is away most of the time, the responsibility of cleaning up after the her has fallen to the man of the house.  And he does not like it.

Recently, he purchased a Bissel Spot Bot to alleviate his anxiety and eliminate those lovely catsick stains.  And until this weekend, I’d never seen this little miracle worker in action. Oh, but I got my chance.

I’m still not sure how one little cat can make such a huge mess, but I am absolutely convinced that I married a super-hero.  Not only did he shampoo the affected areas (plural!), but he also vacuumed afterward.  

He vacuumed!  It makes me weak in the knees just thinking about it.

Purple Is Not My Favorite Color

How is it that one tiny little needle can leave such a large bruise?  I mean, I’m used to the GIANT bruising that happens when the nurse has no idea how to puncture a vein.  Any vein will do.  In either arm. Please don’t dig. Really. I can feel that. Ever considered a career in domination? Ouch!

But I digress. Today, the phlebotomist got it right on the first try!  I’d call him a genius if it wasn’t for all the bruising.  How is this possible?

Flying the Friendly Skies

It’s never too early in the morning to be polite and considerate.  We all got up at 3am to make this flight.

I don’t know which is more disturbing: pantyhose paired with Birks or wool socks worn with flip-flops.

Taking off in the dark and the fog is mildly alarming.

Landing at sunrise in a fairy-land covered in snow is spectacular.

It is a special blessing when your departure gate is the one immediately next to your arrival gate.  Doubly so in sleep deprivation mode.

Every airport should offer free Wifi.

What the…?

Since I’m catching a flight at stupid-o-clock in the morning, I decided to switch handbags this evening to save myself time in the wee-hours.  (Lady readers are well aware of the need to change from one’s business hand bag to a slightly larger travel handbag, and everyone is well aware of the need to prepare against the danger of hitting snooze too-many-times before a too-early flight.)

Anyway, the travel handbag flipped over when I pulled it from the drawer.  What should fall out but a nail.  No, not a finger nail.  A regular, hammer-into-the-wall kinda nail.

Apparently, the contents of my purse are much more interesting than previously presumed.