Donald Hefeweizen Saves The World

Donald is not an attractive man. He’s not even plain. In fact, he’s downright ugly. From his pasty white thighs to his lazy right eye – everything about him is ugly.

And that makes him extraordinary. And brave.

One would have to be brave to walk around looking like that. With a nose like that.

It wasn’t just his appearance that was extraordinary. Donald could see The OtherWorld.

At least, that’s what he called it. The OtherWorld. Capital letters. Bold print. Understrike.

THE OTHERWORLD

Ghosts, demons, pixies, fairies. Everything that one can imagine, and a lot that one can’t. And he didn’t even need to be inebriated. He could see THE OTHERWORLD when he was completely sober. THAT was the scary part.

Well, that and his amazing ugliness.

Our story starts on an ordinary Thursday – usually a happy day as it’s almost the end of the work week. Our Donald was working at his ugly job. (Again, everything about this man was ugly. Everything. Including his job.)

Anyway . . . Donald was sitting in his ergonomic office chair, at his carved cherry-wood desk, behind a sign marked “DONALD HEFEWEIZEN, HR DIRECTOR.” He was preparing a Non-Compete Agreement for some poor sap who was about to be fired. After they had signed the document.

That was when the most beautiful creature on the planet knocked on his office door.

He immediately decided to fire someone else.

Her name was Jessica Michaellson. She was long and lean. A “tall glass of water,” as his grandmother would say. Everything perfect and beautiful in the universe.

Except her voice.

“What? Are you gonna fire me or what?” she bellowed in a nasal, squeaky voice. She might have been from Jersey. She said she was from Dallas.

. . . to be continued.

(c) Copyright 2008 Jennifer J. Knighton

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