Adventures in Advertising

Slogans that got my attention:

Cow Chips: I Ate One! (I did, they were good.)

Royal Restrooms: A Regal Portable Restroom Experience (regal! portable! restroom! experience!)

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How’d That Happen?

A whole week went by, and I didn’t even blog about it. Pathetic.

In other news: I’ve been in team meetings all week, while simultaneously trying to get my real work done. The good news about that? Our manager actually had the guts to say “I know you’re all going to stare at your laptops the next few days, but try to pretend to pay attention to the guest speakers.”

Reptiles From Hell

Jeff writes “Little copperhead tried to show me his bigsnake fangs so i shoved a pick axe in its rat hole.”

I’m really hoping “rat hole” is a euphemism for some other body part. Because those little copperheads? Those b@$t@rd$ suck. Big time.

When I was three (3!) years old, a little copperhead managed to get his bigsnake fangs into my foot. There were women screaming and iced tea spilling on the porch, glasses shattering, the sun reflecting angrily off Grandpa’s big@$$ Bowie knife, Mom and Grandma running across the garden, and four grown men desperately holding me down. And there was shouting. And a little girl voice screaming, wailing, begging “don’t let him cut me!”

I woke up in the hospital. Dad had brought Oreo cookies. Mom was crying. I needed six vials of antivenon. Grandpa was as sick as I was.

I still bear a scar. From the knife.

And the little copperhead? He didn’t make it.

Donald Hefeweizen Saves The World (pt.14)

Donald scooped up his wayward feline to hastily approach the sliding window.

“Um, I’m not really here to see the vet. We were just stopping in for a minute. Uh. We just wanted to get off the street. Yeah, uh. Didn’t want the demon to get us.” Donald began. Racing along, not really paying attention to what he was saying. “Mr. Buttons said he was following us, but I thought, maybe, you know, maybe it’s just the traffic. You know how it’s always traffic out. But Doug thought we were in danger, so, um. Yeah, so, no vet for us.”

Donald wiped sweat off his forehead, wiped it on his pants, continued sweating. Profusely.

McKinsey continued beaming at the man. Then she did something else no woman had ever done before in the presence of our ugly hero. She leaned forward.

And winked. Smiled and winked.

Donald immediately flushed a shade of red that was almost purple.

“I can see them too!” McKinsey exclaimed. “Don’t worry about Officer Robinson, she’s one of the good guys.”

“Wh-wh-who?” Donald stammered.

“You know, the angel cop. She’s the only one of the force, you know. She does a great job of keeping the demon population down. This town would be Hell without her.”

“You can see them?!?!” Donald practically screeched. In his excitement, spittle flew from his lips and landed on the girl’s scrubs.

She promptly wiped it off. “Don’t worry. Happens all the time. Especially with the big, jowly dogs. So, how long have you been able to see them?”

“All my life.” Hefeweizen answered soberly.

“Me too,” she squealed. “We should get together and share notes. Hey, have you had dinner yet? I get off in about a half an hour. Do you like sushi?”

Donald’s mind raced as the lovely McKinsey babbled on. Suddenly, he felt a little less alone in the world. And a lot more scared.

(c) copyright 2008 Jennifer J. Knighton

Observations

It’s never pleasant to start your first meeting of the day with a view of the wide swatch of pasty white paunch of a potential customer. I don’t think he was doing it on purpose; his shirt was just too small for his girth.

There are more books published every month than I could possibly read in a year. And more books in a year than I could read in ten lifetimes. So much information, so little time.

Sometimes it becomes too expensive to do business with people. Once in a while you have to “fire” a customer who consumes too much of your time for little to no reward.

It’s weird, and strangely comforting, to see seagulls and pelicans inland, in the high desert. But there isn’t any salt water here. I wonder what are they doing so far from the ocean.

Beach Music

Inspired by Simon’s music contest, I thought I’d share with all of you my favorite summer music. So here it is, Jennifer’s Beach Music Mix:

  • “Son of a Son of a Sailor” by Jimmy Buffet
  • “Cachito” by Mana
  • “Beautiful Girls” by Van Halen
  • “Peaceful Easy Feeling” by The Eagles
  • “Lowrider” by War
  • “Smooth” by Santana (featuring Rob Thomas)
  • “Soul of the Sea” by Heart
  • “Tequila” by The Champs
  • “Paperback Writer” by The Beatles
  • “Beautiful Stranger” by Madonna
  • “The Way” by Fastball
  • “Into the Ocean” by Blue October
  • “Don’t Know Why” by Norah Jones
  • “Dune Buggy” by Presidents of the United States of America

But of course, there are a few entire albums that fit the bill for me too, such as:

  • ¿Dónde Jugarán los Niños? by Mana
  • Songs You Know by Heart by Jimmy Buffet
  • Supernatural by Santana
  • Dreamboat Annie by Heart
  • The Presidents of the United States of America (self titled)

Now it’s your turn. What music do you listed to during the Summer? at the beach? to make you feel happy on a sunny day? Let’s hear it!