Bureaucratic Nightmares

My birthday is coming up, and not so coincidentally, my driver’s license is expiring. So, I trek across town to the DPS office, prepared to stand in a (relatively) quick line to pay twenty-four dollars for a bad photograph.

Except, when I get there, the line is out the door. And inside every available chair is filled, the line wraps around three inside walls, and it doesn’t appear that anyone is working today.

Well, then. Screw it. I walk angrily back to my car, get in, drive away. With a license that expires in 3 days.

And you know what I learned?

The DMV of every state in the nation is run pretty much the exact same way. By government employees with no incentive to get you moved through the line faster. Managed by a bureaucracy who has no incentive to make the process faster, simpler, or more organized. And led by a state legislature and governor who think their $#!t don’t stink.

If you think state-run agencies are a pain in the ass, just remember that the federal government is even worse!

That, my friends, is why nationalized healthcare will never work, will never live up the promises, will never make the vast majority of our population healthier, happier, or longer-lived.

Government can’t seem to run even the littlest things well, and they shouldn’t be trusted with something as important as healthcare. Because they suck at it!

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Salsa Fresca

In your Cuisinart, combine:

3 cloves garlic
2 large jalapenos

Mince.

Then add:

3 or 4 Roma tomatoes, cut into quarters
1/2 to 1/3 white or yellow onion
half a bunch of cilantro

Blend to consistent.

Finally, add to taste:

salt
pepper
a squeeze of lime

Blend one last time. Serve.

You will think it’s too hot. And your husband will think it’s not hot enough. Or vice versa.

Well, That Was Weird

So, I’m in the break room heating up some lunch, when a guy walks in. He goes straight to the sink, turns on the water, and begins to wash his face. This continues for a moment, until he begins to rinse out his mouth. In the kitchen sink. And then, he starts blowing his nose. Loudly. IN THE KITCHEN SINK!

HE BLEW HIS NOSE IN THE KITCHEN SINK!

The sink, in which was lying the self-soaping scrubber brush many of us use to wash our dishes. At least, I used to use it.

Not anymore, now that it’s got boogers and cooties.

Unadulterated Joy

Never underestimate the power of an inexpensive, surprise gift to delight your beloved. Which delight spills in return back to you, for simply knowing him, surprising him, thrilling him.

It’s not just the present, which was a hoped-for, long-sought-after thing of minimal cost; it was the act of giving that thing, of recognizing, acknowledging, and fulfilling the desires of another’s heart, however simple that desire might seem.

The giver is blessed because the gifted is overjoyed.

It’s a good recipe for lifelong happiness, actually.

Uncomfortably Numb

Tossed and turned till 3:30 this morning, without ever actually falling asleep. And you know the panic, the sheer terror: “If I fall asleep now, I can get five hours of sleep” . . . “If I fall asleep now, I can get four hours of sleep” . . . “I’m never going to fall asleep, and tomorrow is going to suck.”

And while today does not totally suck, it hurts. Hurts to think, hurts to move. Kinda.

There is that weird sleep-deprivation buzz, where I can sorta feel every cell in my body, screaming at me, demanding a return to the comforts of my bed.

Must resist the temptation to fall asleep at my desk.

Animal Torture

Miss Trixie, of the loud-mouthed opinionated feline persuasion, had a vet appointment today.

She yowled LOUDLY AND POINTEDLY from the moment we got her into the pet carrier, until the moment she got out at the vet. And again, all the way home. And now, she is sulking, silently, under a bed somewhere.

We are obviously being punished for our insolence. Punished with glorious silence!