Chiroptera

Massive heaving swirling black clouds flood the sky in undulating streams flowing east to the dark and the night and the feast. The orange dusk-lit world is mesmerized, hypnotized, seduced. Enticed to join the frenzy and fly away.

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Free Association

Today’s earworm brought to you by Jethro Tull. I think there must be some earworm union where they only accept the really annoying songs. Seriously. Have you ever had an earworm that you enjoyed?

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Jumbo Shrimp. (Hysterical oxymoron there.) Jumbo Gulf Shrimp must be among the top five shellfish in the world, because the are so good. So good, until you have to devein them. And you wonder, what did this little guy eat the day he was caught? And then you try not to think about that anymore.

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I’m driving slightly over the speed limit in the middle lane, so why are you riding my ass? I’m not going to hammer it because you’re in a hurry and 70 isn’t fast enough. BACK OFF!

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I’m wearing my new favorite t-shirt today. It reads “Wicked Kitty Candy Co.” And I love it. It’s soft and comfy and festive.

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I went out of my way last night to pick up coffee creamer for my desk, so I can enjoy the Starbucks with French Vanilla creamy goodness. Except I forgot it at home. Along with my allergy medicine. So, two things I need to make it through the day are at home – a forty minute round-trip from the office. Frak!

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It really bothers me when people walk around the office barefoot. I think that’s just gross. (Actually, it IS gross. Because you know what’s on that floor? Dog poop people tracked in on the bottom of their shoes; rancid mud from the recent rains; bacteria and amoebas and disease. It’s disgusting. Try not to think about it. Just wear shoes!)

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Happy Halloween! I’m really glad I’m not a Sunday School teacher, because their job this Sunday morning is going to totally suck. And if you have kids that are going to enjoy a massive pre-church sugar-high followed by the inevitable depressive let-down, keep them in the pew with you. Those nice Sunday School ladies don’t deserve the torture.

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I think that’s everything that’s been on my mind this morning. Talk to ya’ll later!

Fickle

Dear Texas Weather,

What the hell was that all about?!?!?!

80 degrees and muggy at lunch and then 65 degrees, windy, and dry a mere six hours later? Do you know what you’re doing? Really? Because it looks like you have no idea.

Figure it out already.

Thanks,
Texas Native

P.S. Thanks in advance for providing pleasant Trick-or-Treating weather for all the little monsters piggies kiddies.

What’s the Buzz

Shall I tell you what’s happening? Or happened, I guess, since it’s been nearly a month.

There is this company I know that reorganized its sales force, realigning “assets” and adjusting territories and quotas. Like all other sales organizations, this happens every year, with similar bitching and moaning – from customers and employees alike.

Ah, but this year . . . This year, a girl I know was so popular that several managers argued and negotiated to get her. The only problem with being so “in demand” is that no one invited the girl to the party where her fate was decided. The decree was given, with the admonishment: “Be grateful to have a job at all.”

Well, yes. True. Can’t argue that. Consider me grateful.

And disappointed. It’s impossible to really describe how much I detest having no control over my life, even those eight or nine hours that someone else buys from me each day. Especially when someone in a locked room decided my fate, even though they could have opened that door, invited me in, and asked my preference or at least pretended to seek my input . . . to have even offered the appearance of respect.

To their credit, I probably got the best deal going, with a great manager, friendly colleagues, and good customers. And sales people are conditioned to expect annual changes, to adapt, to thrive no matter what. But we’re not mice in a maze. Like every single other individual on the planet, we’d like a little control over our destiny. Choices. The ability to steer our own course, even in the corporate setting where quotas and margins drive every action.

So, that’s what happened. And I’m still coming to terms with it all – on a new team, in a new territory, with a new customers, with a new goal.

iConfused

So, I’m cooking in the kitchen, making mushroom sauce, when I look at the label on my mushrooms. (Side note: I use the pre-cleaned, pre-sliced 8 ounce package of white mushrooms. So easy and time-saving.) Anyway, I’m about to throw the mushrooms into some hot butter when I notice the label.

“Now with 100% Vitamin D”

Um, ok. So, did my previous mushroom purchases NOT include 100% vitamin D? Were they deficient in some way? Or, are these NEW & IMPROVED mushrooms fortified like milk? What is going on with the mushrooms?

Thunderbolts & Lightning

deluge (n) – a great flood of water; inundation; a drenching rain; downpour; anything that overwhelms

torrent (n) – a stream of water flowing with great rapidity and violence; a rushing, violent, or abundant and unceasing stream of anything; a violent, tumultuous, or overwhelming flow

tempest (n) – a violent windstorm, esp. one with rain, hail, or snow; a violent commotion, disturbance, or tumult