A (Mostly) Complete List of Jennifer’s Irrational Fears

Ice skating. I know I’ll fall down, and I think someone will unintentionally skate over my exposed fingers and cut them off.

Shopping carts behind me. I expect them to ram into the backs of my ankles and render me bloodied and bruised.

Snakes. This is actually a totally rational fear, sorta. It’s not rational to fear snakes in glass cages at the zoo.

Barefoot at the airport. Ring worm, bacteria, shards of glass, canine fecal matter, hypodermic needles, and God only knows what else. Actually, this fear makes total sense.

Large crowds. They press in on you, sucking up all the oxygen, and then they touch you – whether intential or not doesn’t matter. They bump into you. They yell in your one good ear. They spill their sticky beverage down your favorite dress. And then you have a full blown panic attack and might pass out.

Raw oysters. It’s a texture thing. Also, Guillaume-Barre.

A sinkful of dishwater. Gives me a gag reflex every time.

A Little More Introspection

Some more thoughts inspired by the http://www.Reverb10.com prompts:

9. Party. Which social gathering rocked your socks off in 2010?
BlogHer, obviously, leads the list of great parties of the past year – thanks to time spent with friends, visiting a new city, and all that. But I have to confess that my husband and I kept an extremely active social calendar this summer, with something going on almost every weekend from May to October. This year has been fun! And I really hope we continue the trend. Because my anxiety level needs all the fun it can get.

10. Wisdom. What was the wisest decision you made this year and how did it play out?
Well, I think the wisdom started last December when we decided to Reboot in 2010. It’s been an entire year of personal evaluation and exploration, but I don’t think it stops here. 2011 looks to be as filled with new experiences as 2010 has been, and I can hardly wait to see what the year holds.

13. Action. When it comes to aspirations, it’s not about ideas. It’s about making ideas happen. What’s your next step?
“I have no idea” is probably the wrong answer here. But I must confess, I feel completely ill-prepared to take the Baptist Wine Club to the next level. Whatever that looks like. This summer I moved that blog to a WordPress site, which has resulted in more traffic and some attention from wineries and their PR agencies. All of which is wonderful. But I really don’t know what to do next. “Build it and they will come” is a great dream, but requires a lot more than just a dream. Any tips?

17. Lesson Learned. What was the best thing you learned about yourself this past year?
This past July, I interviewed for and won a new job. The interview process itself was excruciatingly detailed, and often felt mildly intrusive. Having to reflect on your entire work life from college forward and to critically evaluate your performance at each step – that was hard work. But I learned that I have a strong, determined character, that I’m aggressive and competitive, and that I set higher standards for personal performance than what most others would expect. I am hard on myself. But that only works for a while before you start caving under the weight of your own expectations. I’d like to work on being a little more self-forgiving. I don’t know if it’s possible, though.

I might post some more Reverb10 responses next week. I’m not sure – they feel increasingly more reflective and I may not be able to bravely share my thoughts. Sigh. We’ll see.

In Which I Reexamine the Past Year. A Little.

I’ve been quietly following the responses to the Reverb10.com prompts, and thought I’d add a few of my own:

1. One Word for 2010. One word for 2011.
This year has been about CHANGE more than anything else. It started last December with a commitment to Reboot 2010, and hasn’t let up. There’s been a new job, of course, but also new hobbies, new travel, more activity, and less rest. I’d like to see 2011 be a peaceful year, and not just meaning less change. I want to cultivate PEACE in my relationships, in my career, in my home.

3. Moment. Describe one moment during which you felt most alive.
Sitting in a restaurant on the Florida coast, on the terrace, looking at the ocean. The moon was rising through pirate clouds and the wind was a caress on my cheek. Palm fronds rustled overhead, and one lonely seagull cried in the night. The smell of hot pizza drifted toward me, as I sipped a glass of red wine. And I stopped mid-motion, overcome with a sense that all was right in the world, that today is a perfect day, everything will be just fine. Peace.

4. Wonder. How did you cultivate a sensor of wonder this hear.
Drum lessons. I feel like a child everytime I sit down at my kit. It’s play, but I’m learning a new talent. And I marvel that something as simple as hitting things with sticks can provide so much sheer joy.

8. Beautifully different. Reflect in the things that make you different; you’ll find they’re what make you beautiful.
I have found this prompt most difficult to answer. Mainly because I’ve never found myself particularly beautiful. Pretty maybe, but not beautiful. Still, I know what I like about myself. I have a quirky sense of humor that sometimes confuses people, but which makes me laugh. I ask difficult questions, especially about faith, and I really try to work out the answers. I’m skeptical, stubborn, opinionated. I don’t think any of these things make me different, but at least they make life interesting. Oh, and I have really pretty green eyes.

You could try a few of the prompts too. They’re all listed at http://www.rerverb10.com/the-prompts/

Have fun.

I’ve Been Everywhere, Man

Yeah, so like two months got away from me. Bet you’d like to know what I’ve been up to.

I’ve been to:
North Carolina
Houston, Texas (twice)
South Florida
Atlanta, Georgia
South Carolina
San Diego, California
Dallas, Texas

Plus there was the Thanksgiving trip to Conroe/Willis. And a few days here in lovely Austin.

I am tired. But I’m inspired by the end-of-year writing prompts from http://www.Reverb10.com. I think I’ll share some of my answers over the next three weeks.

Thanks for being patient and not giving up on this weary traveler.