Carving a Canyon

Some conversations are like working your way through solid rock one drop of water at a time. The water wins, eventually. But the rock puts up a hell of a fight.

Not good sales practice, really.

Full to Bursting

I’ve been in training all day today and will continue through tomorrow morning. The great news is that this training is pretty great and applies to almost everything I do. The not-so-great news is that (like most other training) we’re trying to cram a BUNCH of information and skills into our limited brains ALL AT ONCE.

The upshot is that by 4pm, I had a headache. And now, two hours and two Advil later, I still have a headache.

Ah well.

Breakfast

Tea & Toast. But not any ordinary tea and toast. English Breakfast Tea, brewed strong and dark and served with cream. And whole wheat toast, buttered and topped with bread & butter pickles.

Pickles. Second only to the best bread & butter pickles on the planet. I’m pretty sure I learned to enjoy these sweet delights on buttered toast from my Dad. And if memory serves, he and I could eat an entire jar all on our own. In one sitting.

My grandmother made the absolute best bread & butter pickles ever. Cut thick and packed into a little pint-sized Mason or Bell jar. The ones I enjoyed this morning were not hers, sadly. But they were made by someone’s grandmother, sold a the local Farmer’s Market. Unbelievable thinly sliced, light on the sugar, heavy on the celery seed. Good, but not quite perfect.

Nonetheless, a tasty way to start the day.

Love you, Dad. Hope you had a happy birthday and wished we could have shared a meal this morning. Mwah!

How to Clean Out the Freezer

Place one 750ml glass bottle of Perrier in top shelf of freezer.

Return in three hours.

Remove all contents, including innumerable shards of green glass.

Rinse everything you want to keep. Discard a couple years worth of forgotten, frostbitten food.

Wash out the interior.

Replace contents. And another bottle of Perrier.

Feeling a Little Jumpy

For the past few weeks, I’ve been experiencing this odd twitching in the muscle just below my left eye. It’s completely random. And amazingly irritating.

If I knew what was causing it, I’d make it stop. But as it stands, I’m starting to wonder if something is seriously wrong. Not that I’m neurotic or anything. Or obsessive. Or paranoid. Nope, not me.

News Flash

If it’s after nine o’clock at night and it’s dark out and the porch lights are off and no one answers the door bell, then it’s a pretty good bet that banging on the door to sell magazines (or get a petition signed or hand out religious tracts or whatever the heck you were doing door-to-door in my neighborhood in the middle of the night) will most definitely get you a seriously dirty look and the most forceful “not interested” you have ever heard in your life.

The Circling Kind of Storm

I pulled Wife extra close to me. I need her extra close. We listened to the booming and then the sheets of rain. We talked about hard things. I wished I could pull her into my skin, so that there would never ever again be anything that could come between us. This is why you have to hold your beloved close, so that nothing divides you, and because sometimes it feels like your heart won’t beat right unless the gentle thunder of her heart’s rhythm finds its way through your flesh.

-Tony Woodlief, Sand in the Gears

Watching

A few movie reviews:

Knowing
Let’s start with the worst, first, shall we? This movie was ghastly. Stupid and confusing plot, followed by a meaningless apocalyptic ending. Everybody dies. Except for some random children who are abducted by aliens (where did they come from) for no apparent reason. It’s like the story is moving along just fine but the writers couldn’t figure out how to end it, so they march in the stalker extraterrestrials. Yeah, that makes sense. Do yourself a favor and skip this one – even if it does have Nicholas Cage.

Hot Rod
So ridiculously funny, that I watched it two nights in a row. And kept rewinding, so I could laugh again and again. Two weeks later, we’re still quote this silly adventure. It’s what Napoleon Dynamite wished it had been, except with a fake mustache. This is slapstick humor AND dry humor perfectly combined. Rent it. You won’t be disappointed.

Gran Torino
The feel good movie of the year for a reason. Clint Eastwood is at his best – a perfect combination of Josey Wales and Dirty Harry. He’s gritty and angry and haunted, and his soul is saved by the very people he initially despises. A riveting story of redemption, sacrifice, and love, and a really beautiful car. And Clint Eastwood. See it.

Moon
This one’s still in theaters, though you’ll have to find the local indie theater to see it. Most definitely a space drama, but really it’s a suspense-filled drama about the nature of personhood and identity that happens to be set in space. It’s also more proof what an excellent actor Sam Rockwell is. This is one of those films that I’ll probably add to the DVD collection, but may or may not ever watch again. Like 2001 or Passion of the Christ – haunting and powerful.

iChat

A: i just had an…interesting… protein shake
A: I made 8oz of my bananna stawberry smoothie stuff
A: 1 scoop of the protein mix
A: what ever was left of your silk
A: and 8oz of orange juice

B: omg
B: you didn’t
B: and?

A: I think the OJ was where I messed up

Overrated

I’m probably going to be castigated by everyone in this town who’s trying to Keep Austin Weird, but I’m going to say it anyway.

Barton Springs is overrated. So there.

It’s cold, crowded, and filled with algae. And if I have to swim with plants and fishes and other unknown objects in the water, I’m going to swim in the sea. Thank you very much.

The Austin Parks & Rec website says the place “attracts a diverse crowd of people.” And that is most definitely, visibly, horrifyingly true. I did not know you could put a tattoo there or grow that much hair there or wear such tiny little speedos that show off both the scary tattoo and all that hair. Definitely keeping it weird.

Suffice it to say: I will be skipping the Springs. For the rest of my life.